Reflections on Belonging
Explore the importance of belonging, the impact of loneliness, and community-based strategies that create connection, equity, safety, and meaningful human relationships.
The essential dilemma of my life is between my deep desire to belong and my suspicion of belonging.
- Jhumpa Lahiri
To belong is what we all humans strive for, reflected in all our intentions and actions. Humans are the most gregarious species by nature and a sense of belonging forms the foundation of human existence beyond the rudimentary physiological and safety needs for survival. Don’t we all secretly want to be valued, respected, want others to see our worth, feel seen and heard and counted and above all loved. We all do!
The word ‘belonging’ is a noun derived from a verb ‘belong’ and a suffix ‘ing’ and as per the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) it connotes a sense of attachment, connection and affinity towards a place or spatial entity, person or group of people, neighbourhood and community or organisation. Belonging is crucial in forging meaningful relationships as it fosters rootedness and emotional and physical ties in society and can mean a range of things to one and other. When people feel strongly about belonging, they transform into active contributors for the larger societal betterment. Belonging impacts engagement and collaboration at individual and community levels. When one searches synonyms for belonging, numerous words arrive, all signifying the inclusivity, association, bonding and acceptance that ‘belonging’ conveys.
The origin and history of usage of the word ‘belonging’ dates back to early 17th century precisely 1607 and since then its etymological studies have shown its expansion into diverse fields yet keeping its essence intact. At core, belonging is a subjective issue yet at the same time a community experience of emotion that has the influence on reducing loneliness. It is where there exists a mutual need for each other, respect and acceptance for each other as we are without judgement, and where we can be our authentic selves. Thus, we find notions of inclusion, equity, diversity and identity in the broad literature of belonging. Belonging in the larger milieu of society allows room for tolerance, coexistence, fairness, harmony, social support, trust and togetherness to thrive, which is essential for everyday living.
When some people think how much they feel part of something, say a group, a place or community, we can imagine them gliding on a measuring rod, on a gradient of which loneliness and belonging are two opposite poles.The sense of being in or this feeling is not constant, but a dynamic continuum which changes with change in the context, individual concerned and varying access to degree of social connectedness. Others, however, argue loneliness and belonging can be felt simultaneously.
But as a matter of fact, loneliness is unavoidable and is intermittently experienced by people even when they are feeling a strong sense of belonging with the surrounding community. These emotions, generally contextual and subjective, do not affect everyone in similar situations and ways. This temporary and occasional bout of loneliness is a common occurrence. But when chronic and prolonged episodes of loneliness are experienced by some people, then it becomes a serious individual and public health concern, and it demands effective deployment of effective interventions to cope with and overcome it. Lack of belonging to one’s immediate social unit, be it family, peer group, neighbourhood or local community, can fuel loneliness. When an individual craves social contact and mutual relationship with others, but is not reciprocated, it can give rise to negative thoughts and feelings regarding their social situations and interactions. Chronic loneliness can push an individual towards social disconnection, feelings of insecurity, unhappiness and eventually may trigger negative mental and psychosocial health outcomes. In the present world, where we are constantly connected with each other through the robust digital tools and state of the art information and communication technology (ICT) just with a click of the mouse. Yet, it is an irony that loneliness has emerged as one of the greatest epidemic in this digital world. More so, since the world witnessed the Covid-19 pandemic. The pandemic has disrupted the global order on how we communicate and interact with each other. The rise of social media and domination of the internet into our lives is surely a boon as it has widened our scope, ability and ways of social interaction. But on the other hand, its excessive usage and addiction has escalated the tendency of social escapism, of withdrawal from real-world social interaction, and aggravated several mental health problems.
Remote interaction, social isolation, physical distancing has loosened the threads of belonging further in magnanimous proportions and we don’t realise it. But we need to join hands together and tame the surging epidemic of loneliness that leads to chronic illness and fragmentation of communities. People need to build and inculcate meaningful relationships and be present in the surroundings of people who respect, love and support them in life. The absence of these elements can drive loneliness in people’s lives.
Sidenote: we must remember that loneliness is not about being alone and it must not be equated with solitude. Rather, it is about the connections we desire but don’t have.
The Solutions for Belonging Framework recommends creative community-based strategies to reduce social isolation, increase social connections and foster a sense of belonging for all. Building and co-creating safe and equitable spaces of belonging is the primary step which can shape up meaningful connections and that can lead to healthier and more gratifying lives. This gives us a chance to learn, reflect, transform us and our surroundings and be part of the solution. Belonging is a protective factor to combat loneliness. The world in the 21st century includes innumerable stressors, such as political conflicts, devastating natural calamities, inter-community biases, ethnic skirmishes, estrangement, digital fallouts, increasing dominance of virtual or mediated reality and so on. And this calls for policies, collective mobilization, and population-level actions to promote and value the cultures, environments, connections, presence, activities, and people that strengthen belonging and foster positive human ties.
This conceptual background has paved the way to design Canada’s first-ever Solutions for Belonging framework. CMHA York and South Simcoe Region and Laboratory for Artistic Intelligence has developed a holistic tool for igniting community-driven solutions to address loneliness at scale. The journey will not be easy, but doing nothing would literally feel worse, for everyone.
Since loneliness is often situational, episodic and transient, it can be reduced in the general population by altering the social environment of the individual. Chronic, longstanding loneliness is another matter. Feelings of lonesomeness, lack of companionship, and feeling of being left out happens to everyone. The aching feeling of loneliness triggers a discomfort within us and we seek connections to feel ‘safe, secure and content with life’. Thus, interventions and activities that focus on making use of quality social support from immediate surroundings like family and peer group must be made available. Actions which enhance one’s social skills such as interpersonal communication without the fear of retribution or ridicule and the ones which allow increased social contacts and interactions are more likely to advance belonging and reduce loneliness. We understand these universal truths, and yet we fail as a society to create the conditions for belonging. How is it that creating belonging can be seen as too costly?
The Solutions for Belonging Framework proposes four primary dimensions or conditions necessary for belonging to thrive: Presence, Access, Cultures, and Places. Co-creating belonging through enabling conditions is a complex and dynamic process. Belonging must be approached with a wider lens, keeping in mind that it is defined and understood differently by different communities and within different scenarios. Belonging can be expressed by concepts such as integration, companionship, association, connectedness, acceptance and all these concepts are defined relative to the individual or community concerned. Belonging is not only subjective; it is contextual and contingent.
The Solutions for Belonging Framework recommends that community-driven solutions adjust to contextual and time-specific needs of the community and hold scope for addressing local socio-environmental challenges and gaps in implementation. Belonging can be achieved through collaborative participation of multi-level community stakeholders who share a common purpose, guided by the Solutions forBelonging Framework. The efforts that encourage belonging to prosper at the quotidian level generally have a domino effect on harnessing togetherness at the local, regional, and societal levels. This can be brought about by positively contributing to the four dimensions of Belonging, each one of us in our individual capacity within society. In our next blog, we will delve deeper into the United Nation’s Sustainable Development Goals (UNSDGs) as they relate to belonging, and undervalued ways to address loneliness.
Have a question or have some feedback?
Get in Touch